Today begins in a fog-curtained dawn, the road a long library of silent commuters. Headlights punch through aisles of unread houses, spines stiff from a freezing rain that has fallen steadily overnight.
You are on a bicycle, wobbling over potholes and a street as poorly paved as a country road. The end of Brock Avenue is out of sight, yet the forecast is for a blazing sun later on, the promise of a clear day that sounds its arrival like a randy bullfrog, or a pageant of elderly white men in the changing room of the community centre, shedding their clothes for the pool, squirting lesser parts of themselves behind paper-thin doors; all sound, no fury.
Younger men, buff from pulling and pushing weights, huff in small shorts around squares of sunlight that break through the concrete and the glazed windows; puddles of warmth for happy dogs to roll in.
In the gymnasium the air is thick with paddle slaps and frustration, bad line calls and unwanted lobs; the wary partnership of temporary allies: pickleball as metaphor for war. Indoors, stray light confuses the eyes, leaves an afterimage of where you thought the ball was going, where you lunged in vain.
Later on, the typewriter on your back wobbles in gusts of wind more suited to a mountain range, the bicycle threatening to spill itself at each intersection of traffic and storm.
Two little girls are leaning against the heavy door at the clubhouse in the narrow aisle where you set up your table and typewriter. Daughters of market vendors, they chatter on about ponies and possibilities, while you put up the sign for poetry on demand, begin the slow process of determining who might need a poem today. It is about looking for a stray heart-thread, one that needs pulling, to unravel and open into the possibilities of poem as offering, poem as oracle.
Today, two people do not return for their poems. One is an Indigeneous woman who said, stutteringly, that she went to Residential School. She says it like a badge of wounded pride, a challenge: Look! I’m here now, I have survived. Her name is Wren. She never sees her poem.
Another man wants a poem for a friend of his, a poem of encouragement. He, too, does not return. What does it mean?
Other poems that people ask for at the farmers’ market today are about home and spring; home as a premise, a promise, spring as the wish they can almost see coming true. They ask for reassurances about parenting, take poetry as kindness, the soft memory of something to return home to.
Quite fittingly, for National Poetry Month, I’m showing some work in two different places, both in the west side of Toronto.
shades of blue
This is a solo photo-haiku exhibition at the Toronto Public Library in Albion. Different hues of blue elicit and evoke various emotions. The images were taken at different places around Toronto, on any day that promised blue skies.
Don’t discount the kitschy title. Arts Etobicoke has brought together a number of West-end poets for a pretty vivid and varied group exhibition of word-based exhibits. I’m pleased to have two works in there, one that blends photography with a poem and the other is one of my pyrography on found wood artworks. I’ll be showing the original artwork as well.
Tempo(rary) is a photography and poetry dialogue that was developed online over the course of a month with Burmese artist Maung Day. It first premiered in Jan 2020 in Yangon and has found a new lease of life at SEAFocus 2025 in Singapore. The exhibition is on until 26 Jan.
This was how the creative process worked: I sent Maung Day an image and he replied ekphrastically with a poem. Then he sent me an image and I replied with a poem of my own. We also had poem/poem and image/image pairs and even one pair where the text was overlaid onto the image. The aim was not to stick with one particular way of looking but to explore the inner tempo of each piece. The exhibition is accompanied by metronomes going off at a variety of tempos, based on the ‘speed’ of each paired piece.
Tempo(rary) was conceived as a dialogue between two very different cities. Yangon, for many years, has been under the aegis of a military junta, which kept the city (and the country) in something akin to a time warp. Whereas Singapore, since achieving independence in 1965, has been unrelenting in its pursuit of progress, almost as if it felt it was running out of time to prove itself.
The photographs generated from Singapore in Tempo(rary) are about states of motion. They involve roads and rivers and sit atop deeper uncertainties. In contrast, the Yangon images speak assuredly about the gaze, the melding of the inner self with an outward feature of the city.
There are few visual correlations that span both cities. Telephone cables, in abundance in Yangon, have long been buried underground in Singapore. Yangon is just one city in a sprawling country while Singapore is its own city-state, dense and with an absent hinterland. Even minorities are treated very differently in both countries. Yet, through it all, a sense of unease manifests itself in the artwork, juxtaposing the quotidian within these fragments of dissonance. I think the tone we were both going for was an ambient resistance.
The practice here is typical of my work across genres, where the subject matter in both the poems and images draws inspiration from the quotidian. Even the collaborative nature of the exhibition falls in line with my work with artists from other disciplines.
After looking at all of the images that had been submitted for the exhibition, Marie-Pierre Mol, my curator, noted that Maung Day had an image of the peacock, Myanmar’s national bird and a recognizable symbol of the country, while I did not have something that corresponded quite so strongly. She suggested that I try to take an image of something recognisably Singaporean. And so I landed on the Merlion.
In a foreword to a 2009 poetry anthology on the Merlion, one of the editors, Malay novelist Isa Kamari, noted, “The Merlion bears witness to the commerce and enterprise of both the indigenous people and the immigrants. Have they become one? What then is the impact of the iconic development and prosperity on them?” The Merlion was conceived in 1964 as a logo for Singapore’s Tourism Promotion Board, but transcended its status, with a series of statues being erected over the years. A fictionalized origin story was also developed for it. For over 20 years, a giant, 11-storey Merlion Tower stood on the island of Sentosa, blazing light out of its eyes at night. Academic Kelvin Tan has written extensively on the conceptualization of the Merlion as a focal point for the spectacularisation of Singapore, led by “the authoritarian state’s hegemonic exercise of constructing an official history to contextualise its own lead role in Singapore’s survival and success” (Tan, 74). This was seen through such concrete symbols like the Merlion. A lavish history was invented for it in order to attain “historical legitimacy and credibility in an attempt to inspire respect and acceptance for it” (Hayward, 116). This is fascinating from the perspective of literary production. The Merlion has sparked a range of artistic responses from poetry to installation and even animated characters. While the permission around the use of its image remains strict:
-The Merlion Symbol is to be used in good taste. -The Merlion Symbol is to be reproduced in full. -Wordings, graphics or objects are not to block or be superimposed over the design of the Merlion Symbol [. . .].
(From the 1963 Singapore National Tourism Act)
The very circumstances surrounding its creation as a work of fiction seems to permit a range of ekphrastic responses to the Merlion statue as the physical embodiment of a fictional text. Eventually, after photographing the Merlion from multiple angles and focal lengths, I found a way to resist the cliché and offer the body of the Merlion, bereft of its tourist devotees, against the juxtaposition of a warning sign.
The warning sign is the focal point of the image, leaving the Merlion slightly defocused but still recognisable. Warning signs, a visible reflection of the varying degrees of permission afforded to citizens in the country, are in abundance everywhere. In the empty spaces known as void decks beneath thousands of public housing blocks are signs forbidding everything from smoking to sleeping to playing football. There is no outright forbidding in this sign, because I don’t think it is a crime to swim here, but, as the steps go down right to the water, it is very easy for someone to fall in. One might argue that it is a practical sign with a practical use, but when juxtaposed with the Merlion, its function changes and it becomes a warning about the Merlion, as a kind of portent that may prove to be more dangerous than kind, ill-omened than lucky.
Maung Day’s poetic response, in lines that seem to echo the arc of the spout of water, doesn’t respond to the image head-on, but references a speaker walking with unsettled eyes through a landscape. The last line conceivably swings between the speaker and the Merlion as an unvoiced subject, ‘I want to leave this place. It doesn’t understand my eyes.’ Could this be the Merlion asking for permission to leave? Maung Day’s writing, here and in the other poems, stems from a place of cryptic subjectivity. His speaker often feels dislocated within a dystopian state. There is a sense of unease, of things denied. His poems dig at the layers beneath the image, pushing against surface representations of typical city scenes.
A new year deserves a new poem. The second half of 2024 passed by completely undocumented. The upheaval of a move and the consequent settling in to a new country took a lot out of me. But 2025 is a new slate, a chance to hit refresh and let this life load differently. There are projects waiting in the wings, there are possibilities of new shows, even a residency. But first, the heart returns to poetry as a way of seeing, a way of believing that life takes time.
On Wednesday
The new year arrives, swaggering in party shades from its one-night costumed stand,
defiantly draped in tinsel and fireworks, low-flung stars, peaceable explosions.
The new year arrives on Wednesday, the stuckness of a week, or, to be generous,
the tipping point towards the week’s end, which makes this new year
feel liminal, even wasted, without the brotherly proximity of a weekend.
Maybe that’s why the shades hang indeterminate, open to sidewalk’s sleet, afternoon
clouds brim snowfall, a portent for the year ahead, for the world
caught between war and wariness, power and privation,
An overdue post featuring amazing photos from Daniel Tan and Joe Nair from WEAVE on 6 July at Aliwal Arts Centre.
WEAVE was conceptualised and produced with SingLit Station as a multidisciplinary, collaborative show that brought together amazing artists whom I’m proud to call my friends. There was innovation and artistry, much laughter and some dancing. It was a farewell to 20 years of making work in Singapore, beginning with my roots in spoken word and branching out into video, photography, music and movement collaborations.
I am grateful for each and everyone who said yes to taking the stage and being who they are. Singapore continues to have artists who make heartfelt, honest and impactful work despite less than ideal circumstances.
Home for Carolyn and me (and Graham Norton) is Toronto for now. I’m looking to build artistic networks here, collaborate and even work on cross-ocean projects with folks back in Singapore. Feel free to reach out for online workshops, or if you know any teaching or writing gigs in Toronto or remotely, I’m ready to work!
From the opening lines of my poem, Ang Mo Kio, written close to 20 years ago:
I live under a white man’s bridge; between the heart and minds of private estates, aching to escape into my own language, born in the mouth of strangers but redeemed, through tea breaks of popiah and kopi
I grew up in Ang Mo Kio, or AMK, for short. It was my home for more than 30 years. After I moved to Tiong Bahru, I only return to visit my parents, who are still there. They came when AMK was still a fresh estate, in 1980. The MRT was still a pipe dream being laid from Yishun to Toa Payoh and AMK Central felt a lot more communal and compact.
I returned recently with my friend Daniel. Armed with our cameras, we spent an afternoon in the sun and rain, experiencing the seasons of AMK, as it were.
For decades, Ang Mo Kio was the gateway town to the north, with the MRT and a comprehensive bus interchange a focal point for travel towards Yishun and Woodlands or out east towards Hougang. Today, the Thomson-East Coast Line adds to commuting options with a station at Marymount and the upcoming Cross Island line promises a lightning-quick way to reach the far east without making an awkward traverse through town.
Ang Mo Kio is aging into its own rebirth, but not everything has been torn down and reinvented. The town centre still holds fragments from its beginnings in the 1980s.
I was never a void deck child. I preferred to hang out in libraries and read in my bedroom. Walking around with Daniel as we each find our own story angles, I see familiar businesses and buildings that have been here for forty years, or more.
And the mostly older people that populate these spaces fill me with an odd sense of longing. It isn’t quite nostalgia, because I was never sentimental about life here. It was always a little too functional, almost nondescript. And yet, a semblance of being is furrowed through those times of walking to buy a computer game on floppy disks from J Tech, or queuing up for the famous S11 fish and chips (still there, not so famous now). Or the line that snaked for a few blocks to watch Jurassic Park at New Town/New Crown cinema, which is now the site of Djitsun mall.
We find the original sign for the estate, nearly denuded of colour, a fitting repose for the past. Across, a field that had always been empty is the site of a new BTO. But the library is where it always has been, so too the mosque and the greasy KFC beside it.
A sudden downpour turns the mood introspective, or maybe it’s the coffee we have at Brew & Co., across from Broadway Plaza. An artisanal coffee joint was unheard of in a heartland estate even a few years ago. Small seeds of change. A new temple has sprouted next to the polyclinic, a convenient site to pray for healing or relief.
I’m very pleased to be able to launch a second season of Estate Frequencies. Art does not necessarily need to be a one-time project, even though funding bodies are not yet enlightened enough to take a multi-year, developmental approach to creating a body of work, and not just a single output.
Chong Pang & Chye Kay was completely self-funded and was made possible by the unflagging energy of Eugene Soh, who recorded all the interviews, created the music and soundscape and recorded my narration as well as Crispin Rodrigues, who helped to brainstorm and shape the episode. Cover art and design by Nicole Soh.
Many milestones to come in the next few weeks! On 30 June, I leave School of the Arts (SOTA), after a satisfying 2.5 year stint teaching creative writing in the Literary Arts Faculty. It has been wonderful to teach a bunch of talented, driven and vibrant young writers and I hope to carry on with this in some shape or form.
On 6 July, it’s WEAVE. This is a happening, a one-night smorgasbord featuring some of my most beloved collaborators over the years. There will be poetry, music, improv, movement, performance art, alcohol and dancing.
And on 10 July, Carolyn and Graham Norton (our cat!) and I move to Toronto, Canada. Forever? We don’t think so, but it’s definitely going to be for a while. Carolyn is off to do her PhD at the University of Toronto and I’m going to figure out life all over again. It’s going to be uncertain, quite cold but we are excited beyond belief.
So come say hello (and goodbye) at WEAVE if you’re unable to catch me otherwise. 30% of all proceeds go to ACRES.
Over 100 Indonesian election workers people died in the 2024 polls. That is dire in and of itself, but thankfully the mortality rate has come down from over 900 in 2019.
To lift a man and his party to the mountain-top,
he steps on the contours of a thousand upturned faces, using fingers and toes to clock
hours of votes that flood counting stations, that stop only after the opposition is stilled.
At the end, a man accepts praise, early declarations of victory
while those who have added up the legislature of his new life return to their own,
carrying exhaustion like a flag listless in the aftermath of a storm; these votes that remain uncounted.
‘Thank You For Holding’ is a step into unknown waters. It sprung from a simple premise: how do I perform the experience of trying to reach an operator at a call centre? We know all too well that the customer service experience is marked by long periods of waiting, with menu choices sometimes leave you at a dead end.
The show encapsulates all of these emotions but, rather than replicate the horrible experience of trying to reach an airline or telco (yes, we’ve all been on hold there), I created a speculative world for the call centre. Called the city under the city, this is a nowhere place, both a commentary on the unequal commodification of labour and an escape into another world.
Through a combination of movement, monologues, and live music, the audience decides how the narrative unfolds. Your choices will lead to further categories and subcategories, triggering various responses – some in the form of a story, others as questions, and still others as confessions. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll get to listen to the Operator.
Catch ‘Thank You For Holding’ at #Textures2024:
19 Jan 2024, Fri at 8pm 20 Jan 2024, Sat at 3pm & 8pm Venue: Play Den, The Arts House
Written and directed by Marc Nair in collaboration with Sudhee Liao (choreography), Mantravine (music), Audrey Ng and Low Zi Hao (art direction). Featuring Arunditha, Chan Hsin Yee and Jack Ng. Voiceovers by Carolyn Oei and Marc Nair.